How to Annoy People Part 1

This is going to be a 3 part series on how to annoy people part 2 & 3 will be coming later.


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
4.Name your dog "Dog."
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.
13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.
16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies
18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.
21. Write.. "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.
22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
28. Ask people what gender they are.
29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
36. Wear a lot of cologne.
37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
38. Sing along at the opera
39. Mow your lawn with scissors.
40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"
41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles.
44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
51. Practice making fax and modem noises.
52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting
57. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
58. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
59. Honk and wave to strangers.
60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
61. type only in lowercase.
62. dont use any punctuation either
63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
64. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
65. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over..
66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.
67. Drum on every available surface.
68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
69. Set alarms for random times.
70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."
71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
73. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
74. Wear your pants backwards.
75. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"
76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music."
77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
78. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency
82. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
84. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."


Things You Do Not Want Your System Adminstrator To Say

There are times in life when computers don't work. Here is a collection of funny sayings that you do not want your system admin to say.

Note: Most of the commands shown are UNIX if you don't no what they mean.

There is over 90 of them.

  1. Uh-oh.....
  2. Undelete, UNDELETE
  3. What the hell!?
  4. Go get your backup tape. (You do have a backup tape?)
  5. That's SOOOOO bizarre.
  6. Wow!! Look at this.....
  7. Hey!! The suns don't do this.
  8. Terminated??!
  9. What software license?
  10. Well, it's doing something.....
  11. Wow....that seemed fast.....
  12. I got a better job at Lockheed...
  13. Management says...
  14. Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgeted.
  15. What do you mean that wasn't a copy?
  16. It didn't do that a minute ago...
  17. Where's the GUI on this thing?
  18. Damn, and I just bought that pop...
  19. Where's the DIR command?
  20. The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.
  21. I cleaned up the root partition and now there's lots of free space.
  22. What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?
  23. Do you smell something?
  24. What's that grinding sound?
  25. I have never seen it do *that* before...
  26. I think it should not be doing that...
  27. I remember the last time I saw it do that...
  28. You might as well all go home early today ...
  29. My leave starts tomorrow.
  30. Ooops.
  31. Hmm, maybe if I do this...
  32. "Why is my "rm *.o" taking so long?"
  33. Hmmm, curious...
  34. Well, my files were backed up.
  35. What do you mean you needed that directory?
  36. What do you mean /home was on that disk? I umounted it!
  37. Do you really need your home directory to do any work?
  38. Oracle will be down until 8pm, but you can come back in and finish your work when it comes up tonight.
  39. I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.
  40. Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs. Is that a problem to you?
  41. We're standardizing on AIX.
  42. Wonder what this command does?
  43. What did you say your (l)user name was...? ;-)
  44. You did what to the floppy???
  45. Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
  46. NO! Not that button!
  47. Uh huh......"nu -k $USER".. no problem....sure thing...
  48. Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
  49. [looks at workstation] "Say, what version of DOS is this running?"
  50. Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)
  51. YEEEHA!!! What a CRASH!!!
  52. What do you mean that could take down the whole network?
  53. What's this switch for anyways...?
  54. Tell me again what that '-r' option to rm does
  55. Say, What does "Superblock Error" mean, anyhow?
  56. If I knew it wasn't going to work, I would have tested it sooner.
  57. Was that your directory?
  58. System coming down in 0 min....
  59. The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!
  60. Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems with vi and a toothpick? More importantly, did you print it out?
  61. OH, SH*T! (as they scrabble at the keyboard for ^c).
  62. The sprinkler system isn't supposed to leak is it?
  63. It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few hours. (This is said on a monday afternoon.)
  64. I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip with out triping the breaker.
  65. What is all this I here about static charges destroying computers?
  66. I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system performance and I have it running now.
  67. Ummm... Didn't you say you turned it off?
  68. The network's down, but we're working on it. Come back after diner. (Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline...)
  69. Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST!
  70. Boy, it's a lot easier when you know what you're doing.
  71. I hate it when that happens.
  72. And what does it mean 'rm: .o: No such file or directory'?
  73. Why did it say '/bin/rm: not found'?
  74. Nobody was using that file /vmunix, were they?
  75. You can do this patch with the system up...
  76. What happens to a Hard Disk when you drop it?
  77. The only copy of Norton Utilities was on THAT disk???
  78. Well, I've got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program was on THAT disk....
  79. What do mean by "fired"?
  80. hey, what does mkfs do?
  81. where did you say those backup tapes were kept?
  82. ...and if we just swap these two disc controllers like this...
  83. don't do that, it'll crash the sys........ SHIT
  84. what's this hash prompt on my terminal mean?
  85. dd if=/dev/null of=/vmunix
  86. find /usr2 -name nethack -exec rm -f {};
  87. now it's funny you should ask that, because I don't know either
  88. Any more trouble from you and your account gets moved to the 750
  89. Ooohh, lovely, it runs SVR4
  90. SMIT makes it all so much easier......
  91. Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?
  92. I don't care what he says, I'm not having it on my network
  93. We don't support that. We won't support that.
  94. ...and after I patched the microcode...
  95. You've got TECO. What more do you want?
  96. We prefer not to change the root password, it's an nice easy one
  97. Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory...


  98. There is going to be more computer related stuff coming up. So sit tight.


Funny Quotes

Here are a collection of some of my favorite / best quotes and sayings.

  1. Uh-Oh her eyes are leaking again, call the plumber
  2. Well, my files were backed up
  3. The army's is like an fps but with better graphics
  4. YEEEHA, What a crash
  5. The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky
  6. Remember to specify that your drive thru order is to go
  7. Leave the copy machine to reduce 200%, extra dark, 9 copies
  8. Start at static on the TV and claim you can see a magic picture
  9. Super glue coins to floors
  10. Its clearly a budget. Its got numbers in it.
  11. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  12. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
  13. Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
  14. Why do tug boats push their barges?
  15. Why are they called stands when they are made for sitting?
  16. Why is it call after dark when it really is after light?
  17. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
  18. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
  19. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
  20. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  21. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  22. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  23. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  24. When everything s coming your way, you re in the wrong lane.
  25. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  26. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  27. For Sale, Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  28. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  29. When I m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
  30. You know the speed of light, so whats the speed of dark?
  31. There are three sides to any argument, your side, my side and the right side.
  32. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
  33. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
  34. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
  35. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won t expect it back.
  36. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  37. If you can t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Blogger Help Websites

During the last couple of days i've been fiddling about with the layout of the website. I just want to say thanks to them for helping me out. If you would like to know some of the techniques used visit these websites.

http://blogger-tricks.blogspot.com (Blogger Tips and Tricks)
http://bloggerfordummies.blogspot.com (Blogger for Dummies)
http://testing-blogger-beta.blogspot.com
http://dummies-guide-to-google-blogger.blogspot.com
http://bloggingsecret.blogspot.com

Big up to them.


Update

Update

Ive currently updated the site as you may or may not have noticed. Currently there are 3 columns and that the adverts have been moved around. One thing that I would like to point out is that there is a read more at the bottom of every post. This is used to cut down on the larger posts taking up to much room. But the down side is that it is on every post. I will try to solve this.

Over and out.


Unfortunate Placement of Yahoo Ad

Hey,

After looking into advertising for the past couple of days, I stumbled across this. I think its great.

read more | digg story


Frustration Friday

Hello

I think I might make this a regular occurrence, i always seem frustrated on Fridays.

  1. FireFox taking to much RAM
  2. Not having enough RAM
  3. Slipping deadlines
  4. AdSense not showing up after then end of posts
  5. Blogger slooow to load

The Worlds Greatest Yo Yo Guy

Alright, personally I wouldnt think you would really have to be that good to be the best at playing with a Yo Yo. I got to hand it to this guy its pretty impressive what he can do.

read more | digg story


Funny Thursday (Image)

Hey Hey

Its that time again for another funny thing of the week. After searching the web these images made me laugh so hard.

Enjoy

Funny cats at the powell blog

By the way, these were found at www.rolfcat.com


The Top 50 highest Paying Adsense/Adwords

Hello

Having dabbled with Goggle AdSense over the last week I was wondering what gave the highest Cost Per Click was. Now I don’t realise I will ever have these adverts, since I don’t no what a mesothelioma lawyer is but I can only hope and ad will ever appear. Bearing in mind the number represents the average CPC. Just imagin having $60 per click, you would be rolling in the greens. But these weuld probably never turn up at this price.

This was used using the Google tool located here. Give me a e-mail or leave a comment if you find any higher than those listed.

You can use the search tool to the right if you need to search any of the terms posted here.

1 secured loans $63.75
2 car accident lawyers new york $53.99


3 school loan consolidation $50.00
4 college loan consolidation $45.57
5 injury lawyers $44.98
6 mesothelioma attorney $44.52
7 asbestos attorney $44.44
8 accident claims $44.37
9 san diego dui attorney $43.88
10 what is mesothelioma $42.94
11 secured loan $42.82
12 secured loans $42.82
13 injury lawyer $41.34
14 new york personal injury lawyers $40.90
15 accident claim $40.75
16 federal consolidation student loan $40.74
17 homeowner loans $39.50
18 accident compensation $37.44
19 federal loan consolidation $37.06
20 personal injury lawyer $36.66
21 new york medical malpractice lawyers $36.01
22 student loan consolidation center $35.98
23 mesothelioma lawyers $35.53
24 prequalify loan $35.27
25 consolidation loan $34.96
26 consolidation loans $34.96
27 tax attorney $34.92
28 auto accident attorney $34.15
29 car accident attorney $33.84
30 accident attorney $33.75
31 florida accident attorney $33.33
32 personal injury lawyers $32.96
33 texas personal injury attorney $32.59
34 mesothelioma attorneys $32.47
35 car accident attorney $32.41
36 motorcycle accident attorney $32.38
37 accident at work $32.28
38 malpractice lawyers ny $32.19
39 student loan information $31.95
40 dallas personal injury attorney $31.81
41 michigan auto accident $31.73
42 tax lawyers $31.58
43 new york criminal lawyers $31.04
44 personal injury attorney $30.82
45 san diego personal injury attorney $30.64
46 malignant mesothelioma $30.36
47 car attorney $30.36
48 accident injury $30.28
49 debt consolidation loans $29.63
50 accident compensation claim $29.23

There are hundred of thousand more but they seemed the best.

RSS Feed

Creating a Website Link Button

Hey,

Somebody at school asked me today how I created the cool button for my website. Well here's how.

1. Open Photoshop and create a new image, about 88x31 pixels. This size is commonly used.


2. Next, Open up and add a small recognizable logo. I used the Dino.

Place it appropriately.

3. Add text, I used Tahoma and the colour scheme of this website.

Different sized text always looks good. I used Anti Aliasing to get smooth corners.

4. The final step is to save it out as a Gif. I used 128. Take your pick. A .jpg could also be used.


5. Viola. You can now place this cool little link button all over the web.



Funny Cartoon

Hey Hey,

During my time searching the intertubes i came across this funny cartoon that I must share with you all. Its from My Extra Life. I check out his site quite often and find both the pod casts and comics hilarious. I thought I would share. Click the image for the full version.




James


The Powell Blog Button

Hey

I was messing about with paint this morning creating some images and I created this small button which can be used to show your support for The Powell Blog.

It is in .jpg form, spread to your hearts content. There may be more to come.


Have fun.


Things That Frustrate Me

Today has been so annoying. here are a couple of things that have annoyed me:

  1. - People that use pink fonts in their msn messages.
  2. - Disk slow to format.
  3. - Not being able to Dvorak layout to type quick enough.
  4. - Keyboard short cuts not the same in every program.
  5. - Windows. Just…Windows.

Update

Hello again.

This is just a quick notice to say that the blog has been updated. Currently the layout is as I want it and all the elements have been installed. This includes the adverts by AdSense as well as the general font scheme and image layout. Soon I will be adding posts and what not and we shall get the ball rolling.

Over and out.


Funny Thursday (Quotes)

Hey,

This is going to be a new feature for Thursdays. It in involves me finding funny quotes, videos and pictures. This week it is going to be some funny quotes and sayings.

  1. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges,

  2. He who laughs last thinks slowest,

  3. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film,

  4. On the other hand you have different fingers,

  5. Change is inevitable except from a vending machine,

  6. Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it,

  7. I fell like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe,

  8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.

  9. Despite the cots of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

  10. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the worlds population,

  11. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

  12. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Hundred Tons Of Explosives

This has got to be one of the coolest explosions I have ever seen. They must be miles away but shortly after detonation you can hear particles fly by their heads at incredible speeds. I wouldn't want that in my back yard.

Click the read more button below.

read more | digg story


The First Post

This is just a first post to get things off the ground. At the moment I am busy changing the layout and making sure everything looks right.

Stay Tuned.